Friday, January 28, 2011

MARRIAGES ARE MADE IN HEAVEN!


What is Marriage?  
Marriage may be defined as socially approved sexual alliance whose off springs also have social recognition and approval. Jacob and Stern say, “Marriage is a term of social relationship of husband and wife and of plural of mates, also used for ceremony of uniting material parents”. Thus marriage alone is an institution which results in social recognition of children..
WHAT IS MARRIAGE MEANS?
           t is said that marriages are made in heaven and celebrated on earth. The popular belief is true to many extent, because it is a special bond shared between two souls, who tie the wedding knot after promising to be companions for a lifetime. It is the physical, mental and spiritual unison of two souls. It brings significant stability and substance to human relationships, which is otherwise incomplete. It plays a crucial role in transferring the culture and civilization from one generation to the other, so that the human race is prospered. The institution of marriage is beneficial to the society as a whole, because it is the foundation of the family, which in turn is the fundamental building block of the society.

While the concept of marriage remains the same across the globe, the way of solemnizing it differs extensively. Different laws have been formulated to legalize the ceremony, which proves to be an important turning point in one's life. Apart from the laws of marriages, the rituals following during the ceremony are in total contrast to each other. Something that is seen in the western countries cannot be witnessed in other nations in the developing world, primarily due to the contrast in the lifestyle and religious beliefs. One of the prime reasons for the paramount status of marriage is that it is the license for two individuals to live together in a society, without much limitations.

Coming to the subcontinent of India, marriage encompasses a number of meanings, apart from being a legalized way of uniting two people. It bears a lot of social significance. This is primarily because in India, marriage has been considered a way to bring the families of two individuals closer. Since the ancient times, marriages have been celebrated as ceremonious occasions, just like the religious festivals, wherein a number of rituals and customs are followed. A number of ceremonies are observed before, during and after wedding.

The key to successful marriage is love, understanding, mutual respect, trust, commitment and togetherness. While many couples are able to find all the key ingredients in their marital relationships, others find one element or more lacking in their bond. This gives rise to consequences that are not always expected, or desired. This is a reason why a number of couples face adverse consequences, like divorce. One of the visible reasons why married couples find marriage as an intimidating bond is that they face a number of problems, while being in the relationship. Lack of trust, mutual respect, love and understanding contribute to the deterioration of the bond.    
            

Marriages in Different Religions


India is known for its rich cultural heritage and diverse customs. Each religion has its own traditions and ritual. Different existing religions in the country- Hinduism, Islam, Sikhism, Zoroastrianism, Jewish, Buddhism, Jain and Christianity every religion has their own wedding customs. Though Indian wedding is mainly associated with the Hindu marriage ceremony, actually the Indian Marriage canopies the marriages of all the different existing religions in the country. If you are interested in knowing about the different Indian Marriages, you must go through this article.

Hindu Wedding
The Hindu Marriage is very popular as the majority of Indian population follows Hinduism. Though there is also much variation in the Hindu religious customs in accordance with the regions and communities, the overall customs remain same throughout. The Hindu marriage is held in a big marquee, either in the bride's home yard or in a rented wedding hall. Different rituals are held pre marriage, on the main day and post marriage. Customs like Ganesh puja, Haldi, Sagan, Sangeet and Sagaai are held before the wedding day. On the wedding the most prominent rituals are Jaimala, Kanyadaan, Sindoor, Mangalphere and Saptapadi. Generally, Hindu Marriages are very royal and extravagant, especially the north Indian Hindu marriages held at night.

Muslim Wedding
After Hindus, Muslims form a major chunk of Indian Society. Muslim weddings in India are also celebrated with equal pomp and gaiety. They have various pre-wedding, wedding and post-wedding rituals. Each ritual has an important significance. In the pre-wedding rituals, Mehndi ceremony is an important function. It is mostly celebrated at the bride's home on the eve of the wedding ceremony or a few days before the wedding. On the wedding day, there are rituals like welcoming the baraat. The main wedding ritual in Muslims is the Nikaah. It is held either at the home of the bride or at any other common venue. The ceremony is conducted by the Maulvi (priest) in the presence of the close friends and relatives. The priest then reads the important verses from the Quran. Thereafter, the ritual of Ijab-e-Qubul (proposal and acceptance) takes place, the Groom sends his proposal to the bride. The marriage is said to be solemnized only if the girl gives her consent.

Christian Wedding
In India like the Hindus and Muslims there are vast majority of Christians too. A Christian Wedding celebration in India is simple yet charming. The wedding ceremony is conducted in the church. On the day of the wedding, the best man greets the bride with a bouquet. The best man is someone very close to the bridegroom. She is than accompanied by her father to the altar. In the presence of two witnesses from both sides the bride and the groom declare themselves to be husband and wife. The groom declares his wedding vows. The couple exchanges their rings and the priest blesses the newly wedded couple and declares them husband and wife. The couple then walks down the aisle together. Everyone then joins the couple for the reception party. Here, the wedding cake is cut, and everyone raises the toast in the name of the bride and the groom.

Sikh Wedding
Like Hindu, Muslim and Christians, Sikhs are also an important part of the Indian Society. Very much similar to the Hindu marriages, the Sikh marriages also involve different rituals and customs. The Reht Maryada, which is the official Sikh code of conduct, specifies certain guidelines that as long as both the boy and girl profess the Sikh faith and no other faith they are joined in wedlock by the Anand Karaj ceremony. The guidelines strictly forbid any sort of dowry system, astrology and any other superstitions associated with wedding date or time. Different rituals are associated with the Sikh marriages, which are performed on different days.

Parsi Wedding
Compared to the other religions in the country, the population of Parsis is very less in the country, yet the Parsi rituals and traditions hold a distinct identity in the Indian society. In a Parsi marriage, the gathering on the marriage day is called Shahjan, the gathering for the queenly bride. The bridegroom comes first to take the seat in the room where the marriage is to be celebrated. The bride comes later. The Parsi lagan or marraige is called ‘Achumichu', which takes place either at a Baug or at an Agiary.

Buddhist Wedding
Buddhist Religion is also a very popular religion in India. Based on the principles of brotherhood and fraternity, the religion preaches simple living and high thinking. The Buddhist marriage in accordance with its principles is very simple and sober. With no religious obligations like horoscopes and astrology and no social obligations like feast and grandeur, the Buddhist marriage is more a family affair than a social or religious one. There is no hard-lined ritual for a Buddhist wedding ceremony; however people generally visit the temple and take blessings from the monks to solemnize the marriage.

Jewish Wedding
The Jewish population in India is very limited, yet they are an important part of our diversified culture. The Jewish traditions are interesting yet simple. In the Jewish religion, marriage is considered to be mandatory as a single person is considered to be incomplete. The Jewish wedding ritual can be divided into two basic phases- the kiddushinor engagement phase and nissu'in or the actual wedding. While kiddushin leads to a change in the conjugal status of the bride and groom, nissu'in or the actual wedding is important to bring a legal change.  Kiddushin is a ring ceremony where the groom places a ring on the bride's right index finger and the bride just clenches her fist to show her acceptance. However, one the day on the day of nissu'in, the couple is joined in matrimony, under the chuppah.

Jain Wedding
Jain religion also forms an important part of Indian society. They have a very interesting culture that adds to the diversity of Indian traditions. Marriage is considered to be very pious in Jain religion. As the Jain community does not believe in wasting time and money over the pomp and show of marriage, they Jain marriage is comparatively a less extravagant and more ritualistic affair.   The most important rituals of Jain Wedding Ceremony are Phere, Kanyavaran, Havan and Granthi Bandhan. Once these four rituals are completed, the wedding of the couple is said to have been solemnized.



Ways To Keep Romance Alive In A Marriage 
  • Find time for each other. It is very important to keep alive the flame that was omnipresent in the initial days after your marriage. You may be busy with your career, studies or children, but that should not deter you from spending some time in the company of each other.
  • Surprise your spouse by small and unexpected gifts, like flowers, cards and letters, which convey your feelings and. Items like jewelry, clothes, candy or a special home-cooked meal make up the gifts that never lose their charm.
  • Apart from going on trips as a family, take vacations just with each other as well, more so if you have children. Enjoy the simple pleasures of life as you did before your marriage. Make surprise visits to weekend getaways, where you can simply relax and spend some time with each other.
  • Find time to be silly and carefree, just like you were in the early stages of your relationship. Cook together, dab flour at each other or play silly games. However foolish all this seems to be, it will surely help you in keeping your love for each other alive.
  • Whenever you find a few minutes to spare, take a walk together, going hand in hand. Enjoy nature in all its glory and talk about small nothings.
  • Spend some time listening to music and dancing. The physical closeness will greatly add to your intimacy and emotional bond as well.
  • Have heart-to-heart talks on a regular basis. Share each other’s hopes, dreams, beliefs and ideas. It will help you in knowing your partner better and you will also feel closer to him/her.
  • During weekends, stay awake late or the entire night, together and have a chat. You can even watch some movies of your choice.
  • Give compliments to each other. Let your partner know how important and special he/she is in your life. Compliment him/her when he/she dresses up for a party. Take the opportunity to tell your friends, in front of your partner, how lucky you are, to have a spouse like him/ her.
  • Don’t forget to say ‘I love you’ to your spouse. However, make sure that it does not turn out to be a casual comment, made out of habit. Say this while looking deep into his/ her eyes, with full sincerity.
  • Having an active social life is good, but don’t do everything as a part of the group. Learn to say ‘no’ to going out with friends, when you feel like spending time with your spouse only.
  • Pay interest when your spouse talks about his/her likes or something he/she would like to have. Later, surprise him/her by gifting the same, with or without occasion. This will help your partner see how much you love him/her.
  • Celebrate every occasion you can think of, with gusto. It can be your wedding anniversary, the anniversary of your first date, your birthdays and all other small, yet important events of your life. While the celebration can be big or small, the enthusiasm should remain high.

                     

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